… after I graduate. No, after I get my first job. No, after I pay off all of my student loans. No, after I get that promotion. No, after I pay off the car. No, after I pay off the house. Et cetera. Et cetera.
Does this sound familiar? I’ve heard this story before (both in real life and in fiction). There’s always some crisis where one of the protagonists has to decide to have kids or not have kids. More often not, the protagonist does want to have kids, but they’re looking for some sense of security before having kids. Eventually, the protagonist has an epiphany and realizes, there is no perfect time to have kids. Since today is Valentine’s Day, I wanted to reiterate that point for any of you out there who may be thinking about having kids.
There is no perfect time to have kids.
Being a parent is like nothing else you’ve ever experienced nor will it be like anything you’ve yet to experience. The “security” of getting one more thing under your belt (be it graduating, getting a job, paying off student loans, paying off the car, paying off the house) or anything else you could possibly think to want to have happened before you have kids won’t ever make you “ready” to have kids. That was a long sentence, let me shorten it: no matter how many things you do to make yourself ‘ready’ to have kids, nothing’s going to be good enough. Why? Because your readiness to have kids doesn’t stem from something external (which is what all of these things are). Your readiness to have kids stems from something inside. Something inside “clicks” and you come to the realization above: there is no perfect time to have kids.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
Jeremiah Stanghini 