Category Archives: Wisdom

The Never-Ending Quest for Balance

As part of the for the PhD program I was in a few years back, I had the pleasure of learning a martial art – . I’d already done quite a bit of training in martial arts when I was younger, but Aikido is quite different from . Not to descend too far down a tangent, but, in my understanding, Aikido is much more about blending whereas karate’s primary focus, again, in my understanding, is not blending.

One of the exercises we would often do to practice this sense of blending involved our partner (or partners as it was usually in groups of three or more!) to approach us as if they were attacking us. It was our job to then move out of the way, whilst staying centered. [Note: I couldn’t find any video of this particular exercise, as I think it’s quite basic. However, I was able to find of some of the basic Aikido exercises that are similar to the one I’m describing.] The tempo of this exercise usually started out really slow (intentionally). Though, as time passed, our partners would then speed up. You can imagine how it might be challenging to stay centered in this kind of an activity.

During these times of practice, I remember having a bit of an epiphany.

As my partner would approach me and I would step out of the way, I noticed that the quicker (and the more out of balance!) I was, the more out of balance I would be when stepping out of the way for the next partner who was approaching. Think about that for a second: as I stepped out of the way of one partner and I was off-balance, I was that much more off-balance when stepping out of the way for the next partner. It’s almost akin to the .

This may seem like a small thing to notice, but we can apply this lesson to a much broader (macro!) scope. Let’s think about this in terms of our own lives. When I am faced with one problem or issue and I “lose my center,” I will be that much more out of balance when approaching the next problem that comes my way. This sense of being out of balance seems to grow exponentially (see: the Bullwhip Effect).

We can apply this to an even broader scope (communities or countries). When a community/country reacts to a problem they are faced with, and they aren’t approaching the problem from a sense of balance (and they don’t maintain a sense of balance throughout the problem-solving process), there will usually be a sense of being out of balance at the end of the solution. Furthermore, by being out of balance at the end state, when the next problem approaches, there will be even more “out of balance.”

There’s just two more things I want to mention about my experience during this Aikido exercise. First, when I noticed myself starting to get out of balance during the exercise, I would often try really hard to get myself back in balance. This only made it worst. As I would try to get back to a sense of balance, I would often swing the other way, causing more imbalance, etc. And second, eventually, by being out of balance, I would fail the exercise. That is, by being so out of balance, I might not see one of my partners who was behind me.

The consequence of being out of balance in this exercise illustrates the inherent narrow-minded focus of one who is not centered.

How To Get What You Want: Use the “As If” Principle

I don’t remember how many books I’ve included in the section that use the “As If” principle, but I do remember that Dooley’s books do ( and ). I’m a big proponent of Twitter as it’s where I get most of my news and updates on the topics that I’m interested in (, , , etc.).

I saw a this morning (from my psychology stream) of a psychologist in London, Richard Wiseman. The tweet included a video of the “As If” principle and the preview made it look like the video was going to be animated in the same way that the are animated (with a hand writing down words/pictures, etc.). This was part of the reason that I had bookmarked it to view later.

After having just watched the short (1+ minute) video, I felt compelled to write a quick note about it. Why? Well, I had forgotten that the “As If” principle started with William James (famous psychologist) from the late 1800s. Additionally, the narrator mentions that there is decades of research to support James’ “As If” principle.

Why We Lie, Cheat, and Steal: The Truth About Dishonesty

I’ve just finished the 5th week of my 4th year of graduate school. For folks that have been in graduate school this long, there’s usually a development of research interests. Because of the nature of my time in graduate school (1 year in a PhD program, 1 year completing my first Master’s, and now into year two of an MBA), I never really had to declare my research interests or choose a dissertation topic. Though, for my first master’s, I did have to write a final paper. That final paper was on a topic that, if I were asked, would probably appear on a list of my “research interests.” It was on intuition and decision-making. Ironically, I’m working with a professor at George Mason University to test whether or not one can improve the conditions for one’s intuition (in the context of decision-making).

If I were to list another research interest, I’d have to say that it’d be on the topic of ethics or morals. Ironically, during my time as an undergrad, I worked on a research project with a psychology professor where we were examining (among other things) people’s moral judgments. I’ve had an RSA Animate talk bookmarked for about two weeks and I just finished watching it — I think you’ll enjoy it.

It was given by Dan Ariely on the content of his new book: The Honest Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone—Especially Ourselves. Ariely is also the researcher I referenced a few months ago when I was talking about the research on American’s perceptions and misperceptions of wealth inequality. I’ve pulled a few important quotes from the video:

“The magnitude of dishonesty we see in society is by good people who think they’re doing good, but in fact cheating just a little bit, but because there’s so many of them — of us — it has a tremendous economic impact.”

“You can’t go and say to yourselves, chef really want their food to be eaten. And it’s really owned by a conglomerate that is really not that good. Some things lend themselves to a much higher degree of rationalization.”

“At some point, many people switch and start cheating all the time. And we call this switching point the ‘what the hell’ effect. It turns out we don’t have to be 100% good to think of ourselves as good. But if at some point you don’t think of yourself as good, you might as well enjoy. And many people, by the way, report this same thing with diets.”

“Your motivation influences how you see reality.”

The Most Important Thing: Ask Good Questions

I’ve read — . And I continue to read — . And I probably will keep reading — . From this reading (and experience) I’ve learned quite a bit. I’ve read a variety of opinions on a variety of subjects. After all of this reading, patterns start to emerge. You start to see the same thing being written, but in a different context. Or, you start to see the same thing written, but with a different twist. There are lots of different ways that people have developed to help make us perform better, be better, or feel better about ourselves. One of the things that I’m surprised I don’t see written about more often is the powerful effect of asking good questions. To me, it as to be one of the most important things you can do.

Why? Well, because in some cases, it’s all you have.

There are different scenarios where we could discuss how asking good questions serves you well: job interviews, “ask the experts,” crisis response, etc. Instead of going down that road, I want to talk about why I think asking good questions (generally) is an important thing.

There’s the idea that if you ask a good question, you may impress (unintentionally) the person you’re talking to and as a result, you may seem smarter to them than you actually are or you may be memorable. While that’s all well and good and may be a motivating factor for some to ask good questions, I’m more interested in asking good questions because I think it’s one of the unique ways that we can contribute (to the world).

As I mentioned above, I’ve done a lot of reading. As a result of that reading, I have a unique perspective on whatever conversation I’m in because it’s unlikely that there will be someone else like me in the conversation who has interacted with all the different things that I have interacted with. And so because of this, the ideas or thoughts that I may have about a given subject will likely be different from the rest of the people in the conversation. I may see connections that no one else sees or that no one else considers (but may be obvious to me because of what I know). In that sense, it’s almost like it’s my duty or obligation to come up with an intelligent question that incorporates that perspective.

I want to make it clear that I’m not advocating asking questions for the sake of asking questions. The question should still be meaningful and add value to the discussion. I’ll give you an example.

This summer, I had the chance to ask a question of the former COO of Obama for America (as he had just been hired to the organization I was working for this ). Because of this person’s unique work experience, I thought he would be able to provide perspective on organizational structure. Specifically, whether or not a “Team of Teams” approach may work in the private sector. In my question, I also made reference to the (then) at Barclay’s and JP Morgan Chase. In asking the question, my plan wasn’t to impress the person answering the question nor was it my intention to impress the crowd. In fact, the question was read as (anonymous). Ironically, after the question was read, there was a bit of a gasp from the crowd and the person answering the question sort of laughed about starting off with an “easy” one.

An Updated Quote and Bio for Jeremiah Stanghini

A little over a year ago, I wrote a post called: “.” I stil think that’s true. In this particular context, I’m writing because I’ve decided to that I’ve had for this website. That’s not to say that the bio that was there previously was inaccurate, it just felt like it needed some refreshing. Similarly, the quote did, too.

To be honest, I probably should have been updating it monthly, but as is common on “static” pages on the internet, they don’t get updated very often. At least, I know that this has been the case for me. I ran into someone the other day who was talking to me about some of the various “resources” that can be found on Genuine Thriving. In particular, the resources that have to do with the book recommendations. After that conversation, I went and clicked through all the various pages on this website to see the things that I had put there almost two years ago (the newest redesign of this website went live in January of 2011, but had been around for a couple of years before that).

The new quote:

“I believe that each of us has something unique and creative to contribute to the world. My creative contribution: effecting positive ‘global change’ by making a difference in the lives of large groups of people. At some point, I get the sense that I will be the leader of an organization that’s not yet been formed, but it would be similar in size, scope, and influence of the United Nations. I believe that through connecting to our deepest wisdom and inner knowing, we can rediscover ways to collaborate with one another. Enhancing our abilities to utilize these powerful human capacities will co-create a better world by way of more effective, more efficient, and better decisions.”

Tying Up Loose Ends — Again

Earlier this year, I did a where I talked about a number of ideas in one post. This served a couple of interconnected purposes: 1) it emptied my “posts to write” list, and 2) it allowed me to flood that list with some new ideas. (I said the purposes were interconnected.) My list has again started to grow a little bit, so I thought I would do another one of those to flush out the list. There are a couple of ideas that I won’t include in this post because I do want to write a “fuller” post on them, so look for some posts in the next few days about “balance,” “The Stockdale Paradox,” and the idea that “every game (in a season) counts equally.”

The Enneagram — Through my exposure to transpersonal psychology, I was introduced to the . I don’t know this for a fact, but my suspicion is that the Enneagram is highly underutilized relative to its helpfulness in understand one’s self and others.

Life’s all about making decisions — One of my interests is “decision-making.” Books, literature, research: I’m fascinated by how humans make decisions. On that note, one of the things I’ve learned is that life is — really — all about making decisions. More importantly though, it’s important to put yourself in situations that allow you to make good choices. Let me say that again: “It’s important to put yourself in situations that allow you to make good choices.”

Measuring outcomes in the non-profit sector — I’ve talked before about my time with , but I also had a class in this summer. The thing that struck me the most about the non-profit sector is the lack of ways to measure outcomes. That is not to say that there aren’t ways to measure outcomes in the non-profit sector, but when compared to the for-profit sector, it seems that, for whatever reason, there aren’t as many established and agreed upon ways to measure outcomes.

Reframing your life — Many people, myself included, sometimes get caught up in choosing things they want to do (career-wise). An important realization on that front: it’s not what you want to do for the “rest of your life,” but simply, what you want to do “for right now.” Meaning, it’s okay to change your mind later and move into a different position, field, or industry.

Psychological reasons why good people do bad things — I came across this a few days ago that recounts a number of reasons why good people do bad things. I think it’s really important to understand the underlying psychological concepts that contribute to these errors in “decision-making.”

You Are Exactly Where You’re Supposed To Be

By being a good listener, people often come to me for advice. Maybe this is why I decided to get into (or maybe I got into psychology because I’m such a good listener?) One of the common themes I recall has to do with people asking about some iteration of “.” I’d be lying if, I, myself, never considered that I took “the wrong road.”

The advice that stems from this title is simple: you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

In short: if “here” weren’t where you were supposed to be, you’d be somewhere else.

After I continually repeat some iteration of these two phrases (the title and the one in the previous sentence), the advice-seeker’s demeanor begins to soften in a way that lets me know that they’ve taken ‘it’ in. It’s one of my favorite pieces of advice (along with ““) Why? Because it gives the advice-seeker the permission to stop second-guessing themselves, something that our culture is rife with. It lets the person be okay with where they are and in another way, gives them permission to stop wishing they were somewhere else.

Of course, someone may choose to continue to wish they were somewhere else, but this philosophy can be — at least a little bit — liberating.

~

An extension of this phrase can be used when someone is still in the ‘before’ stage of their decision. That is, I just described how it can be used ‘after’ someone’s made a decision, but it can also be offered before a decision is made. When someone is trying to decide between two paths, again, it can be kind of freeing when you realize that no matter which way you choose, it will be the ‘right’ way.

I also want to make it clear that I’m not offering this phrase/post as a “tweet-worthy” canned piece of advice. There’s a whole philosophy (see either or ) behind this way of thinking and some folks subscribe to it. I’m not advocating one subscribe to it in some or all instances, but I would suggest one take the time to consider it.

Are You Having Trouble Starting to Write?

One of the most intimidating things for a writer is a blank page. The blinking cursor staring back at you. What to write… where to start… what should I say… I’m not a novelist, but I have done a great deal of writing for pleasure, school, and for work. I know — from experience — one of the hardest things to do is begin writing.

As just about all of my writing is done on a computer, I can’t really put into practice one of the tips I’m about to offer, but I have had it offered to me by those who are sometimes faced with this same conundrum. The advice: scribble on the page. Scribble in the corners, scribble near where the “title” would go. Mark up the page. Make it appear as if it’s not a “pristine” fresh sheet of paper. Sometimes, there’s an anxiety to making the first mark on the page. If there’s already a mark on the page, it might make it easier to begin writing.

Two other tips: 1) stream of consciousness. Essentially, one could play a game with one’s self. That is, one could set a timer for 300 seconds and just continue to type — no matter what. After the 5 minutes is up, one will definitely no longer have a blank page and will have something to work with on said page. 2) make an outline (iterative). Assuming one hasn’t already made an outline, if there’s trepidation around starting a project, it might be a good idea to make an outline. After the outline is made, there may still be some fear around beginning. At this point, I would suggest revisiting the outline and then growing it. That is, if there are 5 major points on the outline, then take the 1st point and make 5 minor points within it and do the same for the other 4 major points.

That’s SO Interesting (What Does That Mean?)

The other day at , I “called out” a coworker for using a nondescript word: interesting. I don’t exactly remember the context, but I felt a little guilty about it afterwards because (who am I to say who can and can’t use these words from those words?) Nonetheless, it made me think about all the words out there that have, in a way, become perverted. When I stopped to think about it, there were other words that came to mind for which the meaning has morphed over time.

Off the top of my head, I can think of three others: nice, good, and fine. (For the record, when someone asks you how you are doing, good is not a correct grammatical response.) How often do you hear someone respond to your questions with one of these four words? How often do you use one of these words in a one-word response to someone else’s questions?

I’ve started to make a concerted effort to be more descriptive (accurate?) in my response to the questions that are asked of me. That is, when someone asks me what I thought of something, I won’t just say “interesting.” I’ve noticed that I’m starting to use the word fascinating more frequently, so I hope that it doesn’t become another “interesting” to me.

Aside: come to think of it, assuming there’s a followup when someone uses the word interesting, maybe it serves as a way to buy some time to better articulate one’s thoughts. That is, maybe it’s a .

So, as I said, I’ve started to try to eliminate these (what I call) nondescript words from my everyday use. It’s remarkable how often I catch myself about to say one of them. I wonder what other phrases or words I fall back on that I haven’t yet been able to identify.

Operation Cat Drop: A Lesson in Externalities or Unintended Consequences

In the last 3+ months, I’ve been meaning to write a post about “.” With my recent “” of having to write an “article,” I feel more comfortable recounting the story and adding a few of my ideas to the post. For those unfamiliar with the story of Operation Cat Drop, here’s a that has collected many versions of the story. According to said site, there are at least  of the story. Regardless of the number of variants on the story there are and the , the lessons from the story still stand. Here’s a brief account found on :

In the early 1950s, there was an outbreak of a serious disease called malaria amongst the Dayak people in Borneo. The World Health Organization tried to solve the problem. They sprayed large amounts of a chemical called DDT to kill the mosquitoes that carried the malaria. The mosquitoes died and there was less malaria. That was good. However, there were side effects. One of the first effects was that the roofs of people’s houses began to fall down on their heads. It turned out that the DDT was also killing a parasitic wasp that ate thatch-eating caterpillars. Without the wasps to eat them, there were more and more thatch-eating caterpillars. Worse than that, the insects that died from being poisoned by DDT were eaten by gecko lizards, which were then eaten by cats. The cats started to die, the rats flourished, and the people were threatened by outbreaks of two new serious diseases carried by the rats, sylvatic plague and typhus. To cope with these problems, which it had itself created, the World Health Organization had to parachute live cats into Borneo.

The coincidental nature (for me) of having wanted to write this post so many times in the last few months is striking. Two of my most recent submissions for coursework have involved me explaining: 1) unintended consequences and 2) externalities. They are, essentially, the same thing, but has a history in the economics literature. My point in raising the story about dropping cats into Borneo is that it’s very important to consider the ramifications of the actions being taken.

That’s not to say that those folks who were involved in Operation Cat Drop (if there was one) didn’t think about the unintended consequences or (externalities) of what they were doing, but just to illustrate the importance of these concepts. A perspective that takes into account the “whole system” would — at a minimum — consider the possibility of externalities and unintended consequences. I think that as the world grows closer together (read: ) it is vital that decisions take into account even disparate connections.